I don’t believe I will ever understand the definition of “weird”, “strange” or “crazy”, but lately I’ve been informed that I was thought to be these things. When I think about it, I’m thought to be many things, and these “things” change often depending on the mood of the persecutor.
On that note, what truly is “normal”? I don’t believe anyone could inform me. There are several ideas of “normal” that never really pass the real test.
So if it’s all agreed that “normal” is in the opinion of the beholder, why is it that thousands of people, daily, become recipients of ruined days?
We have to have the perfect skin, the perfect eyes, the perfect body, have the perfect weight, and many other qualifications to be a “normal” human. The other listings are endless.
Why? Why do we think this way?
In all sincerity, if God wanted us all to have the perfect body type, we most certainly would. If God wanted us to all have type A personalities, we would.
Don’t you understand? We are all utterly and beautifully different from each other. We’re all unique and special and part of the bigger picture; the bigger puzzle in life. Every piece is vital for that very picture to look complete. We all have something we can do better than others, we all have talents and dreams.
What I don’t understand is, why is it that I still don’t belong anywhere? Why, in a world filled with human beings, do we have to hate each other? Although individually we all have differences, we as humans all live and breathe, we all hope, dream, live, love, hurt, rejoice, mourn, and feel sorrow.
Truly, I could tell you countless beautiful words that make you feel warm on the inside, but it would be worthless if you don’t live them. There are people crying out in this world to be loved and to feel special. You just have to listen for their voices. Voices like mine.
I don’t consider myself to be “weird”, “strange”, or “crazy”, but if everyone else knows me as such, what’s keeping me from being that? My own self control? Thankfully, I have a God that will back me up no matter what. I know he’ll keep me safe from the mental and physical hurts of the world when needed.
Whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not, I’ve learned better than to crumble under the rumors of this modern day and age. I’m going to remain myself, even if it is “weird”, “strange” or “crazy”. I’d rather be me than to be something I’m not.
Perhaps you should have alone time, a “come to Jesus” meeting with God himself. Perhaps you should ask him who you really are, or who you should be in him. Whether you believe in the Lord or not, I could confidently say that the higher majority of mankind strive to better themselves in some sort of fassion. When you find who you are and you stick by that, you’ll find that you’re so at peace with who God’s made you to be that you can start to share that confidence with others.
Still, daily, I struggle with that very confidence. It’s difficult to “preach” to others on a situation that’s very much your own. Though I’ve found my person and have found an aproximate peace with it, I still very much lack the confidence behind it.
Perhaps it is simply the woman in me that’s so critical of myself, or that I’m a particular threat to satan and he’s having a feild day with my emotions.
Either way, I choose to live my life as me. And that is all it will ever be.
