I serve an amazing God. He’s unpredictable, mysterious, and perfect.
In the morning service Pastor preached the best service I’ve heard in the longest time. He talked about being alienated and how to handle the enemy in those situations.
I had never needed a service more in my life.
I’m constantly alienated in my schools, and now that the Masters are gone, kind of at church. I feel alone all the time.
Might I just poor out my heart on here? Hopefully I wont be judged there too.
Although I love the Lord, I lack the trust in him that I so desperately need. He’s always calling me higher than where I am, and I don’t feel like I ever meet those needs. Maybe if I did, I would have friends. People might love me then.
Oh sure, people like me, but those that really mean anything already have best friends. And if that isn’t the case, they don’t really think I’m important enough to do anything with. No one understands me but God, and most of the time, always because of me, even he can’t fill that void in my heart that’s growing deeper and deeper inside me.
My family hates me, too. I’m failing algebra. The Masters are gone again, two of them not coming back.
What happened to me?
I have a big heart, but I dont think I can take so much gain and loss and gain and loss. I don’t know what I need. I need God’s opinion on that part. All I have is a dream and a sob story.
And when no one finds that to be very important, you start to think it’s just that special.
Where is the love? Where is the joy? Where is the happiness? Where is the motivation? The peace? The satisfaction? The confidence?
